I am such a wus!

My weakness is more evident now than it ever has been. Can I just say, I am not a fan of being weak. I am not able to control most aspects of my life right now. My nightmares keep me from resting. This I have no control over. I have to take these stupid medicines. If I was "strong", I wouldn't need medicine. I cry alot easier these days, and I still struggle with my MG. WEAK! I depend on my sweet hubby for so much, another sign of weakness. 5 years ago, there was NOTHING I couldn't do on my own. These days, he cooks sometimes, he helps with the dishes, he handles the money, he does alot for me. I have no worries about how he is handling things. I know, in the depths of my soul, he is doing what is best for our family. I have no worries but I have given up the responsibilities. This makes me seem weak!

What does God think about me. I really believe He thinks I am weak at times too. I do, it is just my opinion, but I believe He thinks that about all of us! Does He get frustrated with me because I have let my nightmares take control? When I wake up terrified, crying and sometimes swinging at the air. He just wants me to stop and talk to Him. Does He  just want to reach down and bop me  because I struggle with having to take the medicines I am taking right now. Nope, I believe He wants me to stop being so proud and accept help, in whatever form. Does he think I am weak for crying? Absolutely not, He just cries with me, waiting for me to turn to Him with my fears and hurts. Does he think I am weak because I struggle with my MG? No, He simply wants me to know He is there to catch me when I fall. Does He think I am weak for depending on my sweet hubby so much. Of course not, He brought this wonderful man to me, to share my burdens and care for me.

God simply wants me to humble myself and stop being so 'strong'. When I feel strong, I am actually weak, because I am depending on myself, not on God.

Yes, I think God believes I am weak at times. I just don't think I am weak as often as God would like. In those times I am weak, I have totally given up on myself and turned to God and said, I have nothing else, I don't know what else to do. This is the weakness God loves to see in me! These are the times He can really get busy in my life.

My prayer today is to show that my weakness is God's strength.