Why can't you see what is waiting for you if you just open your heart. All you have to do is be willing to ask. When can you take the time to find out what it is that has some people all amped. It is so simple. Just let God's grace make you over!
You know, all the "christians", they have it all figured out. They keep their "happy face" on at all times, they have no worries. They go to church every day. When asked, they smile and say, "we are just fine".
People are singing songs about it, why can't you understand. The preacher is preaching and the christians are smiling. Why can't you see? When will you care?
I am preaching, I am smiling, I have it all figured out. Why can't you see? When will you care? I know some bible verses and I know all about grace and mercy. When will I accept it?
What will it take. If all the good Christians preach at you about your clothes and your tattoos and your inappropriate behavior and your children born out of wedlock and your smoking and drinking and your bad decisions and your past relationships and your pre-marital sex and all the times you put everything before Jesus. If they preach loud enough, if they hit you over the head with that bible enough times, will you get it? Will you understand? Or will you turn and run away, hoping to never be like "them"?
How about some brutal honesty. What if I tell you how broken I am and about the horrible decisions I have made in the past, about lies I've told, pre-marital sex that cost so many so much, about smoking and drinking and drugs, ways to self medicate after years of abuse and self hatred, about tattoos that I love and more I will probably get, about raising my boys without teaching them who Jesus is, about living my adult life as a non-believer. If I told you all of these things and told you this was barely scratching the surface, then would you get it. Would you understand? Would you be interested.
Would you accept God's grace and understand there is nothing you can do that will make Him love you any less? He knows all your secrets and he loves you. He wants to show you nothing but kindness even though he knows everything about you. Would you want to know more? Would you fall to your knees and confess. Would you live your life differently?
If you let Him get hold of you, I can almost guarantee you would. As hard as I fought it, I did. I am a different person and I pray every day to become more different. I just want to be content in life and knowing that Jesus is mine. He is my saviour and He is my love. He is the only one I actually need. He will see that my needs are met. He knows all I think and feel and He will take care of my heart. He would never hurt me and He will be there to pick me up when life knocks me down.
Just thinking, I never, ever measured up to the "good christians" at church but, guess what, Jesus DOES NOT CARE. He wants me, honest and broken. He wants me to share that honesty and he wants me to shine His light. He wants me to shine that light so brightly that someone will be curious. This is what I want to do. I don't want to preach or thump my bible, I just want you to see how broken and battered I am and know that Jesus loves me. Honest truth is, if you know how screwed up I am and realize He still loves me, that could be very powerful. As much as people will judge you, I guarantee He will love you, all you have to do is ask!
Thank you Trish! What a wonderful and powerful reminder of where I am. Let me continue with my story of where Christ met me. I was just the opposite of you. I have lived my whole adult life trying to be good enough for someone to care. Good enough to be part of His club. I did all the bad things a kid from a divorced broken home with parents who didn't care and were abusive would be expected to do. I did bad things, ugly things to people who cared for me. I did things I still cannot bring myself to confess openly, and have spent my whole adult life trying to be good enough for those things to be erased. I found that the harder I tried the harder I worked, the harder I ran from those things the more they were staring me down. Only after finding His love and truely understanding it has nothing to do with works did I finally get my relief. You can not be good enough for your past to be erased. Only Christ could clear my guilty conscience and let me live again. By his death I can now live. Thank you for sharing so openly. Nathan
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